First of all, you didn't come to the wrong blog- I finally got the motivation to turn on my laptop (instead of my iPad that I use 99.9% of the time) and set up my blog the way I want it. Pink is my favorite color, but I thought the grass and flowers represents Spring and on the same note, new life. I've also added a bunch of blogs to my list. If you are on there, I promise to read through your entire blogs soon- what I was able to peruse quickly intrigued me enough to want to read more. I've also added some labels to my posts and a "Followers" tool. I'd like to see you (YES, YOU!!) sign up as a follower.
Insomnia sucks... every thought is running through my head. Am I pregnant? Am I going to have another failed cycle? If I am pregnant, am I going to be able to keep it a secret as long as I want? Am I finally going to be able to use one of my MANY pregnancy reveal stories I've come up with over the years? I have a really good one if this cycle is successful. AM I TOTALLY JINXING MYSELF FOR MAKING PLANS??
I'm sure a lot of IF-ers feel the same way as me, but I try so hard to not get excited about every little early pregnancy symptom that I feel. I get myself too worked up, and then brutally crushed after every BFN. But this is the reality of being an IF-er. We never get to get excited about anything because the fear wins out- the fear of another failed cycle, the fear of a loss, the fear of having to explain to one more person why you don't have kids yet, the fear of waiting for even the slightest glimmer of a BFP.
Ok, it's 2:30 in the morning and I have to go to church in the morning (later this morning I guess). I suppose I should turn off the TV and go to bed. I don't know how I'm going to fall asleep though...
Yup. I totally could have written this. Wish I had some advice but solidarity will have to do <3
ReplyDelete